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Introduction
I am I...
Do not change me
Condemn me, nor put me down.
Accept me for what I am.
No...you need not agree with me
But accept me.
For I am total in being.
I have my Faults, I have my guilts
But that is who I am.
Perfect I will never be.
Allow me to be uninhibited.
Do not pressure me into feeling
What I do not feel.
Accept me when I am flying high
As I have accept you
When you wee flying high.
Do not put me down...
Nor make me feel unhappy about me.
I am I...
And I like being what I am...
Me.
Welcome to my world of thoughts.
Hoping for a miracle
Sunday, February 11, 2007
4:51 AM
It's 5.02am in the morning and i am so awake....
Where should i start? I don't even know. People usually said that things happened in drama wont happened in real life. But is it i am so ill-fated that it happened in my life. I wondered what I've done wrong in my previous life and end up the present life to be like that. Why one by one don't even give me a chance? I didn't even expected that these kind of things would happen to me.
Actually i don't even know if i can survive through all these. I am at the verge of breakdown and yet i gibe my teeth and holding on. He was my stepping stone and as long as he never give up i will not. He was the key to my everything for me to continue and hold on. I am like in the middle of the iceberg while trying to prevent the ice from melting so that i wont sink into the freezing sea. He was my energy to recover from everything.
I am so scare of losing him. I wondered how life would be without him beside me, protecting me and giving me all the care and love i needed. At times i am losing my faith towards life. At times i hated myself so much. Why i am so stupid during the early days? Actually even i planned what to do for the good or worst, i am still so lost. Because i really very afraid that i would lose him. He's the only guy who would treat me the best in this world and no1 else. I am really scared even in front i tried to be brave and strong. Deep down inside i am so scared. How i wish i could hug him and cry out loud. How i wish i could hold his hand and he bring me to watch movie like couples usually do. How i wish he could celebrated his or my birthday together. How i wish i could hug his arm to sleep like how ella and wu zun in the show did. I never did that before and i wonder if i did even have the chance to do anot.
Will other people understand how i feel and when i cried? I dont need their pity but a chance. Even risk my life just to be with him, I wont have any regret because it's for him. Without him, my life is total darkness.
Béseme... Toqúeme... Siéntame ®
